Arms of Love

The girl descends
Into her world again
She makes believe

She cant help but feel
At home where nothing’s real
She longs to be free

She dreams again
She hides her tears
She’s tired of living

She runs from the pain that she’s hidden away
In a world she makes up as she goes
She runs as fast and as far as she can
Looking for peace in His loving arms

When no one’s home
She sits alone
Always pretending

She dreams again
She hides her tears
She’s tired of living

She runs from the pain that she’s hidden away
In a world she makes up as she goes
She runs as fast and as far as she can
Looking for peace in His loving arms

When all that you want
Is to feel that you’re loved
His comforting arms
Are calling for you

When all that you need
Is to feel you belong
His comforting arms
Are calling for you

As you run from the pain that you hide
You run as fast and far as you can
You are looking for peace in the midst of your storm
You can find it in His arms of love

Cycle

Last night I cut myself again
I love my little razor blades
They show me how to deal with the pain
They make the voices go away

I drink until I’m drunk
And I smoke until I’m high
I snort until I’m numb
And then I do it all again

Nothing’s working
I’m still hurting
I feel like this everyday
I cant go on
All hope is gone
Dreams fade as I rot and I decay

Last night I overdosed again
I love my little “happy pills”
I push the needle into my veins
If this don’t fix me, nothing will

I drink until I’m drunk
And I smoke until I’m high
I snort until I’m numb
And then I do it all again

Nothing’s working
I’m still hurting
I feel like this everyday
I cant go on
All hope is gone
Dreams fade as I rot and I decay

I’m dying inside
I don’t want to die

I’m sitting in the dark, severing veins
Trying to block out all the voices, I am going insane
I’m sitting in the dark, covered in blood
Filling this hole in my soul with dope, I just want to become numb

I’m dying inside
I don’t want to die

I’m sitting in the dark, pistol to my head
Tears running down my cheeks, I’m better off dead
I’m sitting in the dark, shaking in fear
Why is it no one is around when I need them to be here

I’m dying inside
I don’t want to die

I drink until I’m drunk
And I smoke until I’m high
I snort until I’m numb
And then I do it all again

Nothing’s working
I’m still hurting
I feel like this everyday
I cant go on
All hope is gone
Dreams fade as I rot and I decay

Why can’t I get over this?
Why can’t I get over this?
Why can’t I get over this?
Why can’t I get over this?

One Day

I have wasted so much time
Time that I can’t get back
It seems all I do is stumble

I have lost my will to try
Afraid that I might fail
Afraid to expose my heart again

I sit here all alone
Alone and in the dark
Convinced that no one wants me

It’s been like this for so long
I don’t know how it got this way
I don’t know how to change

One day the sun will shine
The clouds will all melt away
The gray will turn to blue
And everything will be just fine

Letter To A Friend

Within the confines of my battered, tattered, and stone cold soul, i see the light at the end of the tunnel. As I walk through this darkened labyrinth of old memories, scars, and prison bars left over from when I was caged I am reminded of the things that never were. As I walk past the dreams, I hear the children’s screams and I wish that I could have been the one to save myself from this eternal night. The closer i get to the light, the further away I actually am. I can feel the ill chill of the wind at my back as I close my eyes, listening to the sounds of my own footsteps, as I walk among the dead and the forgotten.
I assure you that even now as I write these words I still wander alone among the shadows and the sewage that has become my home for many years. I would have told you sooner that I appriciate your existance, and that everything you’ve been through I could learn from. The reason I had not told you sooner is simple. My mind, my heart, and my soul were not aligned in such a manner as to translate this message from the jambled ramblings in my head, to actual aknowledgement until just now; at this precise moment.
So, through stories untold, my path unfolds and my light, still bright, but ever so far away ignites a burning in my bones. A need to know … I need to know, that I am not alone. I need to know that someone, somewhere, anywhere knows that I am alive! I need to know so much, but i still do not know quite enough. So, as you go on about your day please remember these words that i am about to say:

No matter how big, no matter how small you believe you are, or you have become, or you will become;  someone is out there looking up to you. Someone is wishing on dying stars and praying to a God that is either deaf, dead, or never did exist in the first place. Someone is praying that you don’t fall. praying that you remain head strong and hoping that you never faulter.

Remember, someone out there looks up to you and some one is wishing that one day they will be as important as you may or may not think you are.